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HomeCaribbeanThe Big Return of the Anita Valium

The Big Return of the Anita Valium

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Mocka Jumbies and Rum...

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Dear Anita,

I am an engineer with several years of experience in the industry; having worked on vessels from 20m to 60m I have developed a huge range of skills. I don´t have any tickets, but this won´t be a problem for a private vessel. I´d like to find a chief engineer job on a vessel based in Newport that doesn’t leave for longer than two weeks at a time in the summer and is not used for the winter, and earn $15,000/month. What do you have?

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Are you SERIOUS dude? What planet are you on? No tickets DOES mean a problem these days Sunshine, it´s not just the flag state dictating what tickets are needed on a yacht, but the insurers too. On a 60m private yacht seeking a Y2 chief engineer, saying to the insurer: “nah it´s ok, he´s done this before…” just doesn’t cut the mustard.

Keep Your Day Job

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Ok, I know engineers are highly sought after and in general can list their terms and conditions of employment and usually get them but come on man, give us a fighting chance. Own cabin and fluffy towels every day I can do. Miracles I cannot. Yet, I’m working on that. I don’t doubt your statement regarding your skills, I’m sure you have heaps of knowledge and fantastic experience, but without those bits of paper you’re really limiting your options. Anyway, if you’ve been earning $15k/month, you can afford to at least get your STCW… and your AEC, and your MEOL and then, what the hell, go get a Y4 just for the fun of it. Lose the attitude too or you´ll find people don’t want to work with you anyway. So there.

Anita Valium’s Handy Guide to Interviewing

Dear Anita

My husband is a chef and is looking for a job on a charter motoryacht, 40m+, salary €6000+. What do you have for him? Please call me to discuss any options.

And why can’t he do it himself? This is like getting your mum to call in sick for you when you’re thirty. It’s sad, it’s pathetic and quite frankly it’s a bit scary. Lady, do you keep your husband locked in a box and only let him out when you find him a highly paid job then take all his money and use it on liposuction, handbag sized dogs and lunches with other crazy wives? Does that seem far-fetched? Perhaps. So let me talk to your husband and then we’ll see. What’s that? He can’t come to the phone right now? Ha I knew it. He´s in the naughty box.

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So Caribbean you can almost taste the rum...

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