Thursday, February 22, 2024
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Sailing with Charlie: Business Ideas

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The recession is here and it looks like it may turn into a depression. Charlie has been racking his brains to think of fun, lucrative business opportunities to help out his fellow sailors. One thing that Charlie noticed recently is that many new boats are equipped with electric winches. It seems that the days of deck apes and tortuous winch grinding at every tack are on the way out. Now it’s gonna be ‘push button’ sailing. Gone will be the need for sailing gloves to protect pampered hands.

Charlie has just patented three new sailing accoutrements, the index finger protector, the middle finger protector and the big toe protector. They come in a multitude of colours and sizes, the larger size for larger buttons (obviously for bigger yachts). Charlie anticipates that the large red middle finger protector will be the best seller. It has the dual purpose of protecting the finger from wear and tear and also is quite conspicuous when giving the finger to competitors when you’re about to leave them in your wake.  

Just last week (the end of March) Charlie received his Christmas mail — just a few days after an email message from his old Mum in England who said, quite bluntly, ‘You f…ing reprobate, you could at least send a thank you note.’ Charlie’s second business idea was born. He will be offering a postal service from Europe to the Caribbean by sail boat. He anticipates it will cut weeks off the traditional snail mail service and be more environmentally friendly.

He’ll sail over to Europe in late summer. Pick up mail in November in the UK, France, Spain, Portugal and Gibraltar (with a feeder service from the rest of Europe).  Depart the Canaries late November and arrive in the Caribbean before Christmas. Emblazoned across his main sail will be the words, ‘Express Mail.’ All his sailing expenses will be written off and he’ll cruise the coasts of some of the best wine growing and cheese producing regions in the world. Charlie has just emailed his Mum: ‘Thanks Mum, I luv ya!’

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Julian Putley is the author of ‘The Drinking Man’s Guide to the BVI’, ‘Sunfun Calypso’, and ‘Sunfun Gospel’.

So Caribbean you can almost taste the rum...

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