Tag Archives: Sailing Humor

Sailing with Charlie: Crew

crew

Even before the passage she made it known that she wanted nothing to do with George, the first mate. “He keeps looking at my boobs,” she complained, “he’s ogling my bum as well.” More and more yachts are moving around …

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Laughing at Yourself For Laughing at Others

Fatty Goodlander laughing

There’s many other How-To books I want to write: “How To Say Nothing in 100,000 Words”, “How to Pretend to be an Expert on Subjects Your Readers Know Even Less About”, and “How Not to Smirk” are just a few. …

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Sailing with Charlie: Tea Integrity

Sailing with Charlie: Tea Integrity ; Graphics by Anouk Sylvestre

“There’s a leak, a big leak. There’s been a big leak.” Frightening words indeed, especially when shouted up from down below while your boat is sailing close hauled in 25kts of wind with the rail under. Charlie quickly handed the …

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Keels and Schlemiels

Keels , Photo: OceanMedia

I’m old school. I believe that keels should stay attached to their vessels. I know, I know—this puts me totally out-of-step with modern yacht builders, many of whom believe that sturdy keel attachment should be an expensive ‘add-on’ option. Other …

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Slowing Devices: Cheapo Drogues for Cheapo Sailors

Slowing devices : The modified drogue and the experimental Flat Fat Drogue undergoing tests in the swimming pool

Very few Caribbean vessels sport the type of offshore safety gear that is common aboard an Indian Ocean cruising vessel. Just in terms of commercial drogues (slowing devices) we carry a Shark, Burke Sea Brake, Gale Rider, and a Paratech …

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Sailing with Charlie: Terminology and the Neophyte

sailing with charlie terminology

Landlubbers often have a very hard time when it comes to understanding nautical terminology and undoubtedly it’s challenging; almost like learning a whole new language. Terms like gollywobbler, gooseneck, slippery hitch and barber-hauler are all part of this lingo as …

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The Brighter Side of Bigger Boats and Smaller Brains

Bigger Boats: Cap'n Fatty Goodlander: Fatty in Singapore hanging out with his old cruising buddies from Turkey

I have spent my lifetime—particularly my professional life—extolling the virtues of small and simple craft. I’ve done this so well that I am now able to live aboard a large, complicated craft. Ah, sweet success! People often ask my religion and …

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Sailing With Charlie: Superyachts

Sailing With Charlie: Superyachts Graphics by Christine Taylor

Mega Yachts and Super Yachts have only been of passing interest to Charlie, him being more of a traditionalist, but when Charlie is asked to write a story about any facet of boats and the sea he jumps at it …

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Sailing With Charlie: Another World

Sailing With Charlie: Underwater WorldGraphics by Christine Taylor

Charlie was scrubbing the bottom of a boat in Trellis Bay (Charlie just hates dirty bottoms) when he looked down and saw what he thought was an anchor, half-buried in the sand in about 15ft of water. He dove down …

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Brain Storming on Heavy Weather

Cap'n Fatty Goodlander: Brainstorming on Heavy Weather

I’m having a rough time of it. I’m currently writing a book on heavy weather—and, yeah, it’s heavy going. One problem is my target audience: people who have read (or had read to them) my previous books and who are, …

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Sailing with Charlie: Cruise Ship Visitors

Sailing With Charlie: Cruise Ship Visitors

The cruise ship season is in full swing in the BVI and we often see several monolithic monsters in the harbor disgorging upward of 10,000 visitors. Many of these sheeple will take day sails on large cattlemarans, while others will …

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Sailing with Charlie: Fun

Sailing With Charlie: Fun, Graphics by Christine Taylor

February is the coldest month of the year in the northern hemisphere –somewhat surprising really since the winter solstice passes some five weeks prior to February 1st. In the Caribbean, February is the middle of the high season when thousands …

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The Latest on (“… Shhhh!”) Inboards

  I want to congratulate the Silent Sailor™ group of marine diesel manufacturers for producing their ultra-quiet ‘stealth’ line of auxiliary engines for sailboats. In true capitalistic fashion, they found a major need in the global marketplace and filled it—soundlessly. They …

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The Agony of Our Agents

More and more international ports are demanding cruising yachts use a "mandatory" agent to clear through customs and immigration. The reason for this bureaucratic shift is simple: it facilitates graft and streamlines corruption.

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